omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
