I'm jealous of your bromance
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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