I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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