And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
