I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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