i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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