Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
