Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
