Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
as a side note pls kill me
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
