hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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