We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
