You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
