May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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