Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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