who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize