well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
The air was thick with penises
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Someone came in the potted fern
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
