So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
