I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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