real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize