It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize