I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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