What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
