At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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