I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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