do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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