Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
