Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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