I'm really into asian looking animals
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
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