Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
