is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
