eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
