Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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