pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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