but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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