Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
