He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
