Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
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My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
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WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong