You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
I feel like death gave me a hand job
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon