Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
The struggles of a small town man whore
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
