the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
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