so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.