im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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