I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
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I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
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I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you