So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.