if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
