Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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