I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
