Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
