You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize