thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
