apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
