Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
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