I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
