Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
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You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
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She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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