we have officially lost it.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
