Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
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