angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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