I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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