have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
