Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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