Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
