no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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