Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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