R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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